Day 45: halfway

Are we halfway to our destination, or halfway home?

On day 45, I feel as though the PCP is going to stay with me. As though I am heading home, to where I am supposed to be. To meet a healthier, calmer, more productive (in the best way) kind of me. Not feeling anxious about the last half. Bring it on. Feeling TONS of gratitude this morning for the program (while totally shattered by the workouts... jello legs, f-bombs and all). My inside voice is getting absolutely foul, how's yours? If you need practice, this is a funny swearing clip from the King's Speech. Reminds me of my pistol squat sets. I am not going to embed this because it may be a little much for some. Click and play at your own risk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJvGE7Vvd4M

Thanks for all your comments and kind wishes.

Big hugs.

busted

Roller coaster weekend. Started with a cork popping on Friday at my mom's 70th birthday bash. I had a half glass of champagne as I was making a toast (I know, a sip would have sufficed...). But, I was good at the fancy restaurant, ordering grilled halibut and steamed veg. Failed again later when mom offered me a small piece of cake, "You can have cake on my birthday can't you?" And I did. It was delish... all organic ingredients, filled with blueberries (had been frozen) from our garden, olive oil for fat, salt free, sweetened with agave and fresh cream... (How do I know? because I made it. My mom is a gourmet healthy eater and she appreciates these things).

But still, I ate cake.

The next afternoon, I met my folks and an ambulance at the hospital as my dad was having severe chest pains. Turns out he is fine, thank goodness. But there is nothing like spending seven hours in an ER waiting room on a Saturday night to make you appreciate your relative good wits and good health.

It's a small town so think one part psych ward, one part drunk tank and one part triage centre and you get the picture. There were sick and miserable people strewn all over the place.

But the thing that really struck me is how generally overweight and unhealthy most people looked. It's one thing to be heavy or a heavy drinker and to go about your daily business, but quite another to be like that and also be badly injured or very sick.

It puts you and your caregivers at such a disadvantage.

It heightened my resolve to commit to the PCP.

Sans cheating.

Keep it going everybody!

All in good time

Funny how I almost didn't do this program because I didn't want to "bulk up"... now I am happy to see any evidence of muscle development! New photos are up. Changes are subtle to say the least, but I do feel good and strong... so no complaints. One of Molly's posts got me noticing my side saddle baggage (although I am not brave enough to post a close up : ), so I will have to work on whittling that down some, along with my mini-muffin top... or maybe I will just clench the glutes and suck it up next time. HA HA HA.

Looking forward to Day 42 tomorrow as in Bon Jovi ... update: Van Halen (oooooooooooops)...

Go ahead and JUMP!

(and only jump).

and she was...



Shooting Irish cream whiskey for an afternoon deadline... now I ask you: is that cruel or what? And for the record, I did not... (Because I've got a date with a ripped man in a uni-tard later).

Stay strong.

Monday flannels

Okay finally I understand why the gym jocks wear athletic gear ALL the time. It's the only thing that feels remotely comfortable on a tired, sore body. I am pushing it as hard as I can this week to make good use of my gift of protein...  I have always worked out on an empty stomach (cuppa not withstanding), but now I am doing the skipping only on empty, then I eat a bit, wait a bit, then do the strength sets. Then I eat my breakfast, ravenous. And I wait for snack. My body feels like a food furnace.

Everything is pretty cool with the exercises. I thought I had the pistols nailed until I watched the video of the guy doing them without the chair. That chair is my friend man, don't take it away. V-sits I've got down; I am rocking minute planks but need to push them more... Creeps are aptly named but bearable. Floor jumps too. All the rubber bandy sets are going up in terms of band power... so this is good.... And I still fully and completely suck at chest dips. But my chest (such that it is) is killing me ... funny how this makes me happy.

Mood is good.... feeling groovy. Feeling grateful actually. For this body that is working and this opportunity. And for all you PCPers.... you are all so interesting and inspiring....

Keep on keeping on.... !

the view at the end of week five

Observations coming home...

My body feels different. It’s less spongy.

I am more grounded physically, like a tree.

My posture is better when I sit at my computer.

I am drinking way less coffee but enjoying it much more.

I look forward to my meals but I am no longer hungry all the time.

Giving up wine has been much easier than I thought it would be.

Lots of stuff at the grocery store doesn’t seem like food anymore.

Fruits and vegetables taste really bright and sweet when eaten on their own.

I work out harder at home by myself, making funny faces and noises.

When I get enough sleep my body seems to knit itself back together overnight. 

I feel stronger and no longer care so much about whether I look stronger.

My mood is much calmer and kinder when not fueled by sugary treats.

I have never eaten so much protein in my life; hoping this is my missing link.

I am getting more from PCP than a better body or new fitness regime

I still worry that I am too skinny some days; too flabby other days.

Comparing myself to others in terms of progress is getting me down.

I am trying to trust the program completely and just go with the flow.

To be honest I still really covet that egg white dinner shake.

I am a bit overwhelmed by my diet to eat more and more.

The cute barista made a heart on my skinny latte tonight.

I am taking that as a compliment…

Ready to rock week six!

Awesome work everybody... bon weekend!

like night and day

Yesterday I blew it, hadn’t had enough sleep (5 hrs) and I work up sore and grumpy and still feeling behind on my deadlines… i.e. dangerous snack times. I didn’t feel I had time to workout in the morning so that got delayed until I filed my stories. By mid morning I was starving so I ate breakfast and snack close together, then I wanted to really snack the rest of the day… cheated by carving some carbs from lunch meal so I could eat a handful of corn chips (healthy corn chips, mind you, but who am I kidding?)

Then I could hardly get through all my lunch later in the afternoon, nearly wanted to hurl! Finally did my workout and did not enjoy it at all, was tired and sore and GRUMPY. Plus stomach ache. Drank some instant coffee and threw some cocoa in it, ran off to shoot another assignment. Stomach now killing me. Got home, filed those shots then collapsed in a heap until 8pm at which point I rustled up some supper grudgingly and at 9pm decided I would just call it a day and go to bed. Came back out and ate my snack first, after snapping at my one-true-love for eating the last of the yogurt.

Today I woke up after a full night’s sleep (8 hrs), raring to go, not sore, not grumpy, with just as many demands facing me but a much better attitude. Knocked off the workout by 7am (still a bit frustrated over the chest dips, but really no big-e, I’ll get there I think). Looking forward to doing 8-minute abs, when I next take a break.

I am starting to realize that I have probably been sleep deprived my entire freelance career which is around five years now. This may also explain why even though I used to workout hard and workout regularly I never felt (or looked) especially fit. Yesterday was very familiar. So often I felt stressed like that in the past: tired, sore, hungry and grumpy. I’d use snacks and even more workouts to get slight energy/endorphin lifts, but it was mostly short lived.

Poor body, I’ve been literally and figuratively wasting it.

Now that I am more aware of the benefits and committed to feeding, resting and tending my body more mindfully, I can’t wait to see how I feel at the end of PCP and beyond.

Keep the faith team!

have a heart!

Happy Valentine's Day my PCP sweets! Hope you are feeling the love today... What I won't be eating: chocolate. What I will be eating: fruit salad. What is even stranger: I don't actually crave the chocolate... (at least not right at this moment, let's be realistic). But regardless, this is a breakthrough of epic proportions... Got to love that!

Up at 5:30am after 8 hours sleep (my first real 8 on PCP; likely worth it but boy it sure cuts into my night owl activities!). Did what looked like easy workout day 31 and it was killa on my arms... making typing difficult. Rocked the planks tho' can do those till the cows come home (sorry I am former "beach body bootcamp" plank runner up! go ahead and laugh at the "beach body" bit)... then did 8-min abs: and "it is fun!" too funny but great little workout. Devoured my breakfast: toast egg, avocado, red pepper, cucumber and now I am super charged counting down the minutes to my morning egg white fruit snack. Yes, a total geekshow.

Have a great day team! Way to go for showing your body, mind and soul some real love on the PCP!

xo

loving it?!

Okay, those new chest dips are little fockers aren’t they?! First my folding IKEA bistro chairs were hardly up for the task then my wrists began to wail in protest. Right – one down, 15 more to go…. you have got to be kidding me. As a distraction I jerry rigged a new contraption with my push up bars and kitchen table, spaced next to a sideboard of equal height. I am using the push up bars on the table tops and dipping in between. I was able to do four of the wimpiest sets of three. Feeling bummed, I did a few sets of elbows-in push-ups (hate those too) to compensate... Bring on the next session of chest dips! I want to be ready.

Otherwise I love the harder workouts. Prior to this I think I may have been coasting a little bit on some of the sets. Now I am committed to make every final set end in cloud of profanities… my inside voice is certainly up for this. Patrick’s tips are helpful. I am making little corrections to things like push ups, which I have been doing wrong for years. Grateful for this!

But I have to admit, I was feeling put out by not getting the egg white/fruit/milk dinner on Friday’s diet (oh woe is me) but then I thought, “Hey lady, smoke ‘em while you’ve got ‘em!” So I will enjoy my veg and protein at dinner this week. The food overall is great and timed perfectly; I am on the level and never hungry in between, although lunch is a long haul… I am mostly eating pre-steamed or raw mixed veg; salmon, cod or prawns + eggs for protein; quinoa, brown rice and a bit of sprouted bread for carbs; mixed fresh fruit salad… and my milk with coffee and tea. Nice.

Ah yes, the indulgence, I did that, but first: a pull up update. I thought I had cracked one off on Friday night on my way out the door, and I did, to some degree, but realized later I was wearing my platform shoes. So I was three inches higher than usual; a bit of a cheat. Anyway I want to start by hanging, feet off the floor. After the workout today I could barely just hang there…

Anyhow, for the indulgence, I decided that I would stick to my no-sugar for 90 days resolve and rather than a sweet treat I would have a glass of wine (or two!) as I have been missing my wine quite a bit. I chose a light white and enjoyed it chilled with some baked cod, new potatoes and asparagus. It was delightful. Thankfully we had guests and they drained the rest of the bottle, otherwise it would have been very dangerous times indeed my friends.

Good luck with the exercises this week (and 8-minute abs…)!

bring on week 5

The workout was hard today after two yesterday... double katanas are killer. I am pushing it... and feeling great but kind of envious of those seeing dramatic changes already (you are all doing amazing!) as I don't really notice anything in my Week 4 photos... but then again, frankly I am not really sure what I am after. I do feel stronger. Maybe I should go and try a pull up...?

My photos remind me of the first time I went surfing. They sized me up at the rental shop and then gave me a boy's wetsuit... I was 29yrs old. And it fit perfectly!

Bring on week 5.

pondering

When I read Patrick's email a few days ago about how almost everyone gets sick at some point during the PCP I thought: Not me! But yesterday I woke up feeling very gross, hot and shaky and I will spare you the other details. I had worked out and eaten late the night before, dinner was veg and chicken grabbed from a supermarket salad/bar deli. Let's just say I had my doubts about that salad bar.

So, Tuesday was a total PCP write off. I was in full survival mode just to make it from the city back to home. I am sad to say I didn't eat much except for a forced piece of bread, tea and a banana. I got home at 3pm, thought about skipping (uggh) but instead went to bed and slept until this morning.

I am so glad I caved and got some rest because I feel fine now. I was able to skip this morning and do yesterday's workout, plus today's workout (minus the skipping). Probably shouldn't have doubled up I guess, but I really didn't want to miss any of the exercises! I am at 7/8 of one proper pull up. I am kicking the planks and V-sits, as we used to do a lot of them in bootcamp.

As for telling people about the PCP I have bombed almost every time I try. I hate the scrutiny when I am eating and hearing people say how skinny I am already and blah blah blah. One person wagged her finger at me and said "You better not lose ANY weight" as though she would arrest me if I did. The best approach I've had is to say I am "in training" but then in training for what? For a healthy life? Also, explaining that I'm trying to be strong rather than skinny seems to work too. Thankfully my lovely parents are super supportive and my sweet man is a former elite runner so he gets it.

As for clothes, I tried some new ones on in the city, not because I need them, just because I am a woman. I still look like a stick insect for the most part, but I did notice that my shoulders are filling out a bit, so that is progress in a t-shirt.

I hope everyone is feeling strong and taking great care... I am so impressed by everyone's progress, what a great group... I feel lucky to be part of this. Be well!

one day at a time

Busy times but I am just keeping my head above water schedule wise. Happy to say I've managed to stick to the meals and workouts pretty diligently... although it still feels like I am stuffing my face while everyone else has been cut back... feeling a bit weirded out by that. Averaging 7 hours sleep (will try for 8) except for last night which was a total failure. I have really been pushing the workouts, hence my body is thrashed today. Go figure, not enough rest...

I am not sure if I look any different but I do feel much stronger and I feel like dancing ALL the time. Along Aki's theme, I had my hair cut tonight, in my case to improve my skipping... (my ponytail was too heavy and bugging me). When I explained the situation to the salon owner she politely asked if I was a boxer! Hardcore or what!?

Funny, I was SO looking forward to the indulgences, but now I am kind of dreading it, wondering if I can be trusted... Slippery slope that chocolate sauce.

Take care, be well, go get 'em!

fun times... food times

The workouts are good. My rope is getting shorter as it keeps breaking and I am tying it off (time to return it, obviously). I can do 3/4 of one pull up. Long way to go, geesh.

The food situation is good. The simplest things taste so nice. Although I am a LOT hungrier now. And I get a little freaky (like grumpy/high) in the afternoon, after the pure fruit snack. Bit of a sugar rush maybe. The fruit snacks I have with egg white or milk are totally different. Level. Interesting to actually be aware of these things.

Because my work involves food + wine (sigh) I get invited to a lot of fun foodie/chef events which I have been turning down so far. I mean it's one thing to spit out your wine at a tasting (that's cool), quite another to spit out your food. However, on Tuesday in Vancouver, Fairmont Hotels is releasing a new "special + wellness diets" menu: meaning heart healthy, vegan, raw and gluten-free foods, so I've decided to go to this event as I am curious. I wonder if there will be anything PCP friendly? We'll see...

Funny juxtaposition of assignments to file yesterday. One was an article on Parisian-style macarons (the most succulent cookies ever invented possibly).... mercy:

And the other was a piece on having weekly organic produce delivered to your home... thank goodness for that!

What luck to get all of those fruits and veg delivered to my house. Actually there were two boxes. And everything in there I could eat!

Now, I have to admit I am feeling anxious about the new diets (what will change I wonder?) and excited to see the week's workouts. Do you look ahead? I immediately go to the last day to see how many jumps!

Have a lovely weekend everybody!

 

I feel it now

Okay, I was definitely not feeling the love this morning.... tired, sore, stressed, up a 5am and it is bloody freezing too. But I pushed through the workout ate a great breakfast (what a revelation eating after workout is... in the past I would just ride a jet stream of coffee until noon and then basically eat anything in my vicinity). Anyhow, I feel level and ready for the day now. So thank you very much PCP. Good day everyone!